Atchison, Kansas
The New
"Tales From the Side of the Road"
by Jack Hayslett
jackhayslett@sbcglobal.net
Atchison's Online Journal
On weather and weather reports
Whether it's weather or whether it's calm, I still get worked up when it fills my television screen.
Here I am on my soapbox again. Sometimes
(oftimes) it does not take much to set me off. Right?
Here's what sparked me today. A friend said: "So much for all the storms that were predicted. Sure was windy though."
Of course, I had to continue, this was like a challenge! The weather people are always "crying wolf" now. It makes them look more important than they really are. To me it makes them look like the foolish or the "play" actors they are. Entertainment is no replacement for NEWS. Do I really want to watch some group of "pretend reporters" chattering among themselves for a laugh or gossip among themselves? No! Do I want to know how much precipitation fell in every suburb and nearby town. No! All we need is for every station to take us directly to the national weather bureau and get the "real" weather report straight from the horse's mouth. Standing in front of a huge weather "map" or "radar image" or photo of the wind blowing, the typical weather "personality" looks like a fish out of water. Talking to people behind the scenes to get her (or his) stats up that she really wanted. And, how long can we put up with this kind of nonsense? But, surprise, there is always time for the paid commercial time.
Then, my friend mentioned that "Sometimes I think the weather channel isn't that whoopie either."
It's so predictable. and sometimes that's good. The airline and airport closures and delays are always at the same time. As if I give a rats behind. One day I actually tuned in, albeit accidentally, and heard mention of a URL for the flight tracker website that I had been looking for. Didn't catch it clearly, went back an hour later. Same o same o. Everything is so fast that the words stream out like a run on sentence in fast forward. Voices. The squeaky ones (feminine are the worst) the cute ones (with a big smile to take your mind off whatever they are trying to say) the urgent ones (get this or you may die) and the obvious fill-ins that were called on when the "official" weather expert was on potti or coffee break.
So, here I go. Boom went the bomb in my head.
Do you remember when TV first got, what I used to call, "Weather Bimbos" - Girls, sexy looking girls, scantily attired like "Daisy Mae" of Little Abner fame -who knew nothing about weather, not even how to come in out of it. Now, the weather "news" guys/gals "meteorologists" keep saying all the same old crap, warnings, advisories, what to do's, and all that other stuff over and over and over again. As if we couldn't understand what they just said the first time. Or, we weren't tuned in yet and they have to tell those what they just said. Like this, it's deja-vu all over again. The radar, the map, the spotters, the people too stupid to come in out of the rain or snow or wind or storm or hurricane.., what the national or regional or other forecasters say, etc..
They used to have "Dan Henry" on TV4, I think it was, and he did not have any weather degree or anything like it, but he was usually (if not always) right. I remember a billboard in KC saying, "Dan Henry said it would be like this." And it was. Meaning, of course, the weather would be just like it is, "...says Dan." Then came all these experts or as I say "ex-spurts." My definition: A Former "Drip," under pressure. Actors, entertainers, jokers, like the overpaid, overused, over-gilded, over-praised Brian Busby, Mike Thompson, Katie Horner, etc.. Now, maybe its starting back to "Bimbos," like "What's his name's" daughter, Fred somebody (Broski?) et. al.
I get so sick of weather interrupting all the programs. usually at just the worst time to interrupt. Announcements of a tornado coming some 300 miles away that generally fizzles out, a big golf-ball sized hail stone somewhere near us, a storm-spotter report of a possible touchdown of a funnel or dust cloud, on and on. It could wait for news time. But, no. let's interrupt what we are interested in. Like, it's an EMERGENCY. RUN. Head for cover. Go to the basement. Not usually. Everybody doesn't give a crap, really. If it's near us, sure. tell us, then get the hell out of the way. Ten channels telling us all the same stuff is not NEWS, it's over-kill. One weather-warning channel would be enough. The alarm now goes off (bleeps) for all TV cable channels and antenna fed channels anyway. Aha, the Weather Warn sound. And that's warning enough. Sitting there watching the weathermen, weatherwomen, weatherperson, weatherbimbos explain every tiny, insignificant, boring, scientific detail will probably get us all killed. What do you think about that, as some famous broadcaster said?
It used to be 5 minutes maximum for weather. And it was believable. Now, there is instant weather, the new forecast, weather a week ahead, and mostly the time is wasted tooting their own horns. This with advertisement by the TV stations to glorify their "star" or "KC's top" or "KC's most watched," etc. Recently, I've had to prepare for 3 tornados that missed Atchison by many miles (although Rushville was on it's path) and ice storms that "didn't materialize" like the computer generated graphic whatever it was said, and I've been outside in shorts when the temp was 30 degrees less than it was supposed to be that day. They call "wolf" so much, that one day we'll all ignore them because they never get it right. And, "that'll be the day when I die." Hmmm. Buddy Holly, weatherboy. He got that one right. Bad weather at Clear Lake. A friend told me "I was just talking about Dan Henry the other day. The only time I can remember that Dan Henry got the weather forecast wrong was when one time he predicted snow flurries. The next day, he said, "I just swept 6 inches of snow flurries off my steps this morning". Recently, two of the TV Stations in Kansas City were bragging about their new weather equipment. No doubt that will make their weather forecast even longer and more boring.
Here's what sparked me today. A friend said: "So much for all the storms that were predicted. Sure was windy though."
Of course, I had to continue, this was like a challenge! The weather people are always "crying wolf" now. It makes them look more important than they really are. To me it makes them look like the foolish or the "play" actors they are. Entertainment is no replacement for NEWS. Do I really want to watch some group of "pretend reporters" chattering among themselves for a laugh or gossip among themselves? No! Do I want to know how much precipitation fell in every suburb and nearby town. No! All we need is for every station to take us directly to the national weather bureau and get the "real" weather report straight from the horse's mouth. Standing in front of a huge weather "map" or "radar image" or photo of the wind blowing, the typical weather "personality" looks like a fish out of water. Talking to people behind the scenes to get her (or his) stats up that she really wanted. And, how long can we put up with this kind of nonsense? But, surprise, there is always time for the paid commercial time.
Then, my friend mentioned that "Sometimes I think the weather channel isn't that whoopie either."
It's so predictable. and sometimes that's good. The airline and airport closures and delays are always at the same time. As if I give a rats behind. One day I actually tuned in, albeit accidentally, and heard mention of a URL for the flight tracker website that I had been looking for. Didn't catch it clearly, went back an hour later. Same o same o. Everything is so fast that the words stream out like a run on sentence in fast forward. Voices. The squeaky ones (feminine are the worst) the cute ones (with a big smile to take your mind off whatever they are trying to say) the urgent ones (get this or you may die) and the obvious fill-ins that were called on when the "official" weather expert was on potti or coffee break.
So, here I go. Boom went the bomb in my head.
Do you remember when TV first got, what I used to call, "Weather Bimbos" - Girls, sexy looking girls, scantily attired like "Daisy Mae" of Little Abner fame -who knew nothing about weather, not even how to come in out of it. Now, the weather "news" guys/gals "meteorologists" keep saying all the same old crap, warnings, advisories, what to do's, and all that other stuff over and over and over again. As if we couldn't understand what they just said the first time. Or, we weren't tuned in yet and they have to tell those what they just said. Like this, it's deja-vu all over again. The radar, the map, the spotters, the people too stupid to come in out of the rain or snow or wind or storm or hurricane.., what the national or regional or other forecasters say, etc..
They used to have "Dan Henry" on TV4, I think it was, and he did not have any weather degree or anything like it, but he was usually (if not always) right. I remember a billboard in KC saying, "Dan Henry said it would be like this." And it was. Meaning, of course, the weather would be just like it is, "...says Dan." Then came all these experts or as I say "ex-spurts." My definition: A Former "Drip," under pressure. Actors, entertainers, jokers, like the overpaid, overused, over-gilded, over-praised Brian Busby, Mike Thompson, Katie Horner, etc.. Now, maybe its starting back to "Bimbos," like "What's his name's" daughter, Fred somebody (Broski?) et. al.
I get so sick of weather interrupting all the programs. usually at just the worst time to interrupt. Announcements of a tornado coming some 300 miles away that generally fizzles out, a big golf-ball sized hail stone somewhere near us, a storm-spotter report of a possible touchdown of a funnel or dust cloud, on and on. It could wait for news time. But, no. let's interrupt what we are interested in. Like, it's an EMERGENCY. RUN. Head for cover. Go to the basement. Not usually. Everybody doesn't give a crap, really. If it's near us, sure. tell us, then get the hell out of the way. Ten channels telling us all the same stuff is not NEWS, it's over-kill. One weather-warning channel would be enough. The alarm now goes off (bleeps) for all TV cable channels and antenna fed channels anyway. Aha, the Weather Warn sound. And that's warning enough. Sitting there watching the weathermen, weatherwomen, weatherperson, weatherbimbos explain every tiny, insignificant, boring, scientific detail will probably get us all killed. What do you think about that, as some famous broadcaster said?
It used to be 5 minutes maximum for weather. And it was believable. Now, there is instant weather, the new forecast, weather a week ahead, and mostly the time is wasted tooting their own horns. This with advertisement by the TV stations to glorify their "star" or "KC's top" or "KC's most watched," etc. Recently, I've had to prepare for 3 tornados that missed Atchison by many miles (although Rushville was on it's path) and ice storms that "didn't materialize" like the computer generated graphic whatever it was said, and I've been outside in shorts when the temp was 30 degrees less than it was supposed to be that day. They call "wolf" so much, that one day we'll all ignore them because they never get it right. And, "that'll be the day when I die." Hmmm. Buddy Holly, weatherboy. He got that one right. Bad weather at Clear Lake. A friend told me "I was just talking about Dan Henry the other day. The only time I can remember that Dan Henry got the weather forecast wrong was when one time he predicted snow flurries. The next day, he said, "I just swept 6 inches of snow flurries off my steps this morning". Recently, two of the TV Stations in Kansas City were bragging about their new weather equipment. No doubt that will make their weather forecast even longer and more boring.
Jack (out of if not off his rocker) again
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